Q&A with Darryl Cross, Chief Global Collaboration Officer with Norton Rose Fulbright
1. When you watch a lawyer in a mock sales meeting, what are the first two or three habits you notice that separate strong performers from everyone else?
The reason I use mock sales meetings is to determine whether someone is truly ready for “game day”. If they can't consistently do things well in a simulation when I keep changing the facts or throwing unexpected twists at them, they're probably not going to do well when a real client is sitting across the table.
The first thing I look for is patience. Too many lawyers want to get to the answer as quickly as possible because the conversation feels uncomfortable. They hear a few sentences and immediately start talking about their qualifications and pitching how they can help. The strongest lawyers slow down. They stay curious.
The second thing I watch for is how they use questions to uncover feelings. Confirming facts is only the beginning. The real value comes from uncovering what's driving the issue emotionally. Questions like, "How does that affect you?" or "What's your biggest concern?" often reveal what's really behind the problem. Lawyers tend to think logically, so they assume the rest of the world does, too. However, emotion is what causes people to make a change.
Finally, the best lawyers don't feel pressured to solve everything on the spot. They're comfortable saying, "Let me think about this, pull in the right people, and come back with a recommendation." If you walk into a meeting with your solution already decided, you might as well have sent an email.
When I see someone consistently demonstrate those three habits, regardless of how I change the scenario, that's when I know they're ready for a real client conversation.
2. What's something you think is often misunderstood about what it takes to win work and grow client relationships?
I think the biggest misconception is that the more clients know about you, the more likely they are to hire you. That's backwards.
Clients are thinking about their own priorities, not yours. Spending twenty minutes talking about your firm, your experience, and your credentials dominates the conversation instead of serving the client. I tell lawyers, “Stop insisting your clients look at your baby pictures.” Clients don’t want to know more about you, where your offices are located, and when your firm was founded. Ask them to show you THEIR baby pictures.
Yes, relationships go both ways, but they start with understanding what's important to the client. You can’t smother them with your bio and wear them down into hiring you.
3. You've coached rugby for years. What lessons from coaching athletes have translated surprisingly well to coaching lawyers?
More than people would expect. With new athletes, you focus on fundamentals. They first have to learn the skills and practice them incessantly. With experienced athletes, you focus on judgment and decision making. We call this “Rugby IQ” in my sport. If the best player doesn’t know how to apply their skill in a changing situation, it is worthless. And regardless of skill level, game day is different from practice. Even the best player freezes up, and that can get worse if they have had a few losses in a row. Confidence and mindset matter, and they must be relentlessly cultivated.
It's the same with lawyers. The way I coach depends on where they are, how experienced they are, and how confident they are that day. One person may need technical fundamentals. Another may need better judgment. Another may simply need confidence. The playbook is remarkably similar.
4. Let’s talk about your philosophy that a combination of art, science, & grit create high performance. How do those elements come together to help lawyers succeed?
Everyone naturally leans toward one of those three. Art is seeing things in new ways. Science is perfecting the craft to the thousandth of a percent. Grit is persistence in pushing a boulder uphill. All three matter, but any one of them becomes a weakness if it's relied upon too heavily. Innovators can chase every new idea, but they never get proficient in any of them. Experts can spend so much time perfecting something they miss that the world has changed. Grit can become working harder instead of working smarter, which leads to burn out and obsolescence.
High performance comes from balancing all three. This is what makes astronauts, Navy SEALS, medical teams, and other high performers great at what they do. They rely on coaches and teams to compensate for the blind spots we all have. Lawyers are no different. They're smart, they work incredibly hard, and they're always looking for better ways to serve clients. The challenge is making sure one strength doesn't become a limitation by learning to trust and rely on others.
5. One of LSSO's core pillars is helping business development professionals become better coaches and trainers. What advice would you give someone who wants to become a more effective coach to attorneys?
The first thing I'd tell them is this: remember that you're already the business development expert. But, your job isn't to transfer everything you know into the lawyer's head. That's training. Coaching is different. Coaching is helping someone become better tomorrow than they are today.
The best place to start is reflective coaching. Instead of giving advice, ask questions that help lawyers think through the situation themselves. Resist the urge to jump in with tips and tactics. If every answer comes from you, they'll keep coming back to you for the next answer. Lawyers don't need me to teach them the law. They'll always know more about their practice than I ever will. My role is to help them think differently about winning work, building relationships, and making decisions.
In many ways, it's like a sports coach or even a therapist. They don't have all the answers to your situation, but they know the questions that help you find your own. Ultimately, the lawyer must make the decision, own it, and grow from it.
That's what great coaching does.
6. Where do you see the biggest opportunities for legal sales and BD professionals to lead rather than follow?
I've changed my thinking over the years. I used to believe business development professionals would eventually become the primary sellers. I don't anymore.
Lawyers will continue to own client relationships. Our role is to make them more effective.
I think we create the most value in two areas. First, opportunity qualification. Too much time is spent chasing opportunities that were never real to begin with. We need to help lawyers determine whether there's an actual problem, an internal champion, and a realistic chance to win before significant resources are invested. Second, sales leadership. Think of us as sales managers or VPs. We keep opportunities moving, challenge assumptions, remove roadblocks, and improve the process instead of trying to close every deal ourselves. That's where I think our profession has the greatest opportunity to lead.
7. Your family has deep military roots. Has growing up around that environment shaped the way you think about preparation, discipline, or leadership?
My father retired as a two-star admiral after flying F-14s and commanding a nuclear aircraft carrier. Growing up around that had a tremendous influence on me.
The biggest lesson was preparation. Nobody is born knowing how to fly a fighter jet. You build proficiency one step at a time, mastering each level before moving to the next. There is no tolerance for saying your smarts or natural talent will allow you to just figure it out as you go. You have to punch your competency tickets one at a time.
The second lesson was discipline. Small details matter. Doing simple things consistently is what eventually allows you to do extraordinary things. However, you can’t just do small wins forever. They need to get bigger as you become more proficient.
As for leadership, my father expected a lot from people in some serious circumstances, but they followed him because they knew he cared about them and believed in the mission. Years later, I still meet people who talk about what it was like serving under his command. You have to give people ownership and let them make big decisions—sometimes before they are ready. That builds confidence and trust. That's the kind of leader I've always tried to become.
8. Speaking of leader, as LSSO's new president, what are you most excited to champion over the coming year?
For me, it's increasing the intensity of engagement. We do a great job with the annual Raindance conference, webinars, and communications. However, I want LSSO creating value all 365 days of the year for our members, sponsors, speakers, and Board members.
That means finding simple, practical, low-cost ways to help members build relationships, develop professionally, expand their networks, and strengthen the role of business development throughout the legal industry.
If we consistently improve engagement by even one percent at a time, those small gains compound into something much bigger. That's what I'm excited to help build.
About Darryl
Darryl is a Navy brat who was born in San Diego, moved 6 months afterwards, and has lived in more than twenty places since then. He is passionate about coaching rugby (wishing he was still playing), but he is even more passionate about family: his wife, daughter, and traveling on 1-1 trips with his granddaughter. They are always “on his team”. When he is not working, you'll usually find him in the gym trying to convince himself he is still 30-years-old. When he needs some downtime, he heads to his basement music studio, where he enjoys playing karaoke-level piano and guitar.